How to Come Back to Yourself When Anxiety Surfaces
Anxiety can feel like a storm moving through your body. Your thoughts start to race, your chest tightens, and your breathing becomes shallow. You may feel a vague sense that something isn’t quite right, even if you can’t name exactly what it is. For some, anxiety shows up as constant worry that hums in the background. For others, it comes as a sudden panic that seems to appear out of nowhere. No matter how it shows up, anxiety impacts both your mind and your body.
As a therapist, I often remind clients that anxiety is not just “in your head.” It’s in your nervous system, which means healing happens through both insight and embodiment.
Below are some somatic and practical tools to help you regulate when anxiety shows up, and build resilience over time.
1. Orient to the Present Moment
When anxiety spikes, your system often loses touch with the here and now. The first step is orienting, which invites your nervous system to settle.
Try this:
- Slowly look around the room. Let your eyes land on three to five things that feel neutral or pleasant.
- Say what you see out loud or in your mind: “green plant,” “sunlight on the wall,” “wooden chair.”
- Let your body register safety. Notice your breath, posture, or tension without judgment.
2. Box Breathing
Anxiety often shortens the breath and signals the body to brace. Box breathing calms the nervous system by slowing and structuring your breath.
How to do it:
- Inhale for 4 counts
- Hold for 4 counts
- Exhale for 4 counts
- Hold for 4 counts
Repeat three to five rounds, or until you feel a slight shift.
3. Name What’s True
Anxiety thrives on the unknown and the hypothetical. One way to disarm it is to name what’s actually happening.
Try this grounding script:
- “Right now, I’m feeling anxious.”
- “I’m sitting on my couch, in my home. It’s 2 p.m.”
- “I am here and I am safe at this moment.”
This isn’t about denying hard things. It’s about anchoring to what is currently true to help your system settle.
4. Movement to Shift Energy
Anxiety can create a buildup of unused energy in the body. Movement helps that energy release.
Ideas:
- Shake out your arms and legs for 30 seconds.
- Dance to one upbeat song.
- Take a brisk walk while swinging your arms with intention.
5. Create a Containment Plan
Some anxious thoughts need attention, but not all at once. Containment helps you “bookmark” the worry without spiraling.
Try this:
- Set aside a specific 10-minute “worry window” in your day.
- Jot your anxious thoughts in a notebook.
- When the time’s up, gently shift focus with a grounding activity.
This helps your mind understand that your concerns matter, but that you’re in charge of when and how they get addressed.
Final Thoughts
Anxiety doesn’t mean you’re broken. It often signals that a part of you is working hard to keep you safe, even if its methods no longer serve you. By tending to both your thoughts and your body, you can learn to ride the waves of anxiety with more steadiness and self-trust.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to start, working with a therapist can help you understand what your anxiety is trying to say and build personalized tools for relief. Please reach out to any of the therapists at Rocky Mountain Relational Therapy, if you’re looking for support. We’re here to help you and your partner build a long-lasting, beautiful future together.
If you’re considering working with a therapist in Denver, Rocky Mountain Relational Therapy serves Denver and surrounding communities including Alta Vista Area, Arvada Plaza Area, Scenic Heights, Lamar Heights, Allendale Area, Rainbow Ridge, Club Crest, Highlands, Northwest Arvada, Wheat Ridge. The first step is to schedule a free initial consultation; that way you can get a feel for us and decide whether we’re best placed to help you. Simply visit our booking page to schedule your consultation.